


Hiring Defence Against the Dark Arts Teachers and Other Unforgivable Acts

by Alisanne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9375590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/pseuds/Alisanne
Summary: Why is Defence Against the Dark Arts such a difficult teaching position to fill? Minerva has years to ponder that question.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize here belongs to JKR et al. No profit is being made and no disrespect is intended. This is all for fun! 
> 
> **Author's Notes:** Written for the 2016 HoggywartyXmas Fest. Thank you to TheRealSnape for her patience, to my betas Sevfan and Emynn, and to my recipient Sigune for the inspiring prompt.

~

Hiring Defence Against the Dark Arts Teachers and Other Unforgivable Acts

~

“Has it ever crossed your mind, Albus, that there may be a problem with the Defence position?” Minerva asks as she follows Albus into his office. “For example, a curse?” 

Albus shoots her a look over his half-moon spectacles. “I’m sure the recent rash of…misfortunes we’ve had with that position are mere coincidence, Minerva. After all, who would bother to curse a teaching position?”

“Hm.” Minerva can think of any number of people, most of them former students, but she bites her tongue. “Well, coincidence or not, we do need to fill the position. Are you going to accept Severus’ application?” 

“Alas, I need him in his current position.” Albus sits behind his desk. “I have invited him to join us today and see if he wishes to assist with the interview process, however.” 

Minerva raises an eyebrow. “Is that…wise? He can be rather—”

“Headmaster. Professor McGonagall. Is this a bad time?” Severus asks from the door. The glint in his eye says he overheard at least part of the conversation. 

Minerva sighs. 

“Come in, Severus.” Albus gestures. “Minerva and I were just discussing the Defence position.” 

“Are there any… _other_ applicants?” Severus asks pointedly as he walks in. 

“Why, yes.” Albus hands them both a parchment. “One. Do you recall Quirinus Quirrell? He taught Muggle Studies here a couple of years ago. He took a sabbatical to brush up on his Defence skills.” 

Minerva nods. “Yes. Quite a bright young man. Last I heard he was in Albania.”

Albus smiles, his eyes twinkling. “He’s back from his travels and has applied to teach Defence.” 

“How…fortunate,” intones Severus. 

“I thought so,” says Albus, tone bland. “Anyway, I’ve invited him to meet with me today, but I would say he’s assured the position.” 

“Then why are we even here?” asks Severus, eyes narrowed. “It’s clear you’ve made your decision.” 

“We have another matter to discuss.” Albus steeples his fingers together. “An old friend had asked me to secure an item for him. There are…rumours that an attempt will be made to obtain it from Gringotts, so I assured him it would be safe here.”

“An item?” Minerva frowns. “Are we to know what item?” 

“The Philosopher’s Stone.” 

Minerva blinks. “Albus, that’s madness. How are we to hide such an object here?”

“Hogwarts’ wards are second to none,” Albus reminds her. “We should be able to secure it with no problem.”

“In a school,” says Severus dryly. “With students nosing about. Yes, what could possibly go wrong with that plan?” 

Albus ignores him. “What I need from both of you are puzzles to keep the inquisitive at bay. I’ve already decided on a hiding place, I just need to make approaching that hiding place…challenging.” 

“For the record, I think this is a bad idea,” Minerva says. She expects Severus to voice his agreement with her, but he doesn’t. 

“No problem, Headmaster. I can come up with an appropriate potions puzzle,” he says instead, shooting a smirk at her. 

Minerva glares back at him. He’s just taking petty revenge for her earlier comment, she’s sure. 

“Excellent.” Albus rises. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Quirinus is about to arrive. You are both welcome to stay for the interview if you like.” 

Severus scowls. “There’s hardly any point to that, is there?” he huffs and, turning away, he sails out. 

Albus watches him go. “And you, Minerva?”

“If it’s all the same to you, Headmaster, I’d like to get started on next term’s lesson plans.” 

Albus waves a hand. “Of course, of course.” 

Shaking her head, Minerva exits Albus’ office. For some reason she has a bad feeling about this.

~

“I hesitate to say ‘I told you so’, but I told you so,” says Minerva when they meet at the beginning of the following year. She shoots a look at Severus, expecting a snide remark, but he says nothing. She frowns. 

Albus sighs. “In my defence, Minerva, how was I to know Quirrell had been consumed by Voldemort?” 

“Well I don’t know, do I?” Minerva huffed. “Perhaps the next time something seems too good to be true, you should examine it more closely?” 

Severus, seated in his chair, remains uncharacteristically quiet. 

“Severus?” prompts Minerva. “Are you all right?”

He looks up at her, his eyes troubled. “I had thought he was gone,” Severus says, rubbing at the skin of his left arm. “To have him return, even in a disembodied form…It’s disconcerting.” 

Minerva nods. “I’m sure.” She exhales. “But at least he remains disembodied.” 

“That we’re aware of.” Severus clears his throat. “Do you have someone in mind for the Defence position this year, Headmaster?” 

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Reaching into a drawer, Albus sets a book on top of his desk. 

Minerva leans forward. “Gilderoy Lockhart? Oh, Albus no. The man’s a—”

“Charlatan,” declares Severus. “A pompous popinjay! You cannot seriously be suggesting we hire him to teach.” 

“I’m afraid the candidate pool is small,” Albus says. “And, as we now know, Voldemort is roaming the world, albeit without a body, the children will need instruction.” He gestured at the book, imaginatively entitled _Trouble with Trolls_. 

“The children need good instruction,” Minerva says. “Not this…quackery.” 

“Headmaster, if you let me teach Defence, then—”

Albus holds up a hand, cutting them both off. “Severus, you must teach Potions, and that’s that. Minerva, I know it’s unlikely that he’s personally accomplished all he claims, I just want to give him a chance to incriminate himself.” 

Minerva blinks. “At the expense of the children’s magical education?” she asks quietly. 

Albus sighs. “It can’t be helped, Minerva. This must be done.” 

“And I suppose you somehow expect us to make up for their lack of Defence training in our classes?” asks Severus, tone snide. 

“What a good idea,” says Albus with a smile, his twinkle back in his eyes. “That would be splendid, my boy.” 

Minerva sends Severus a speaking look. He shrugs as if to say, ‘I tried’. 

“Was there anything else, Headmaster?” Minerva asks, resigned. 

“No. I won’t subject you to this interview process,” Albus says. “Unless you both wish to be included?” 

The alacrity with which she and Severus manage to exit the room is almost enough to make Minerva laugh. Almost. 

~

“After the unmitigated disaster of Lockhart, Albus assures me this year’s candidate is a vast improvement,” says Minerva as she and Severus approach Albus’ office for their beginning of their annual meeting. 

Severus snorts. “I’ll believe that when I see it,” he says. “Although I doubt anyone could be worse.” 

“Perhaps we shouldn’t say that,” Minerva mutters. “Albus always seems to find a way.” 

“Quite.” 

They reach the gargoyles, and Minerva speaks the password. “Fudge Flies.” 

As the door slides open, Minerva spots someone seated across from Albus at his desk. The man has brown hair, but that’s all she can see. Beside her, however, Severus freezes. “No,” he whispers. 

Minerva continues forward, stepping into Albus’ office, and when the man in the chair turns to look over his shoulder, she recognises him immediately. “Lupin? Remus Lupin?” 

Severus still hasn’t moved. “Absolutely not,” he snarls. 

Albus gets to his feet, and he fixes Severus with a stern look. “Come in, Severus. Have a seat.” 

At that, Lupin also stands, and he’s only got eyes for Severus. “Snape,” he says, tone even. “Hello. Long time no see.” 

Severus’ mouth works for a moment and, ignoring Lupin, he glares at Albus. “Headmaster, tell me you’re not serious about this.” 

Albus sighs. “Severus, please come in and have a seat. We need your help to make this work.” 

“No. You cannot ask this of me.” Severus shakes his head. “You know what he did, what he _is_ —”

“I’m afraid I’m not asking, Severus.” There is underlying steel in Albus’ voice, and Severus’ expression shutters. Without a word, he stalks into the room and takes the seat furthest from Lupin, looking at the wall. 

Minerva sighs, also talking a seat. The tension is thick enough to slice with a knife.

Albus nods at Lupin, who’s still looking at Severus’ averted face. “Have a seat, Remus. Now, as we were discussing, we will need to make special arrangements, given your condition.” 

Severus snorts.

Albus ignores him. “If Severus agrees, he will brew Wolfsbane for you every month. You must take it, and remain caged during the full moon, to ensure you are safe around the children.” 

Lupin nods. “Of course, Headmaster. That’s all I want, too.” He slants a look at Severus. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

“Do you agree, Severus?” 

“I have no choice, do I?” snaps Severus, face still averted. 

Minerva clears her throat. “Albus, if I may speak with you privately for a moment?” 

“Of course.” Albus comes around his desk. “Please excuse me a moment, gentlemen.” 

They step into the hallway. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Minerva asks. “Lupin is a fine young man, but given his…condition, he also presents a clear danger to the children.”

“Not if Severus does his job.” Albus sighs. “I realise this will be difficult for him, but I have faith he can do it. And I also believe Remus has the capability to be an excellent teacher.” 

Minerva purses her lips in thought. “Perhaps warning Severus about this ahead of time might have been a better approach?” 

“Perhaps.” Albus smiles, his eyes twinkling. He pats her arm. “Although something tells me everything will be fine. Now we should really get back in there.” 

As they re-enter the office, however, they find Lupin and Severus facing off, wands drawn. Severus’ expression is furious. 

“Gentlemen.” Albus acts as if everything is fine. “Let’s take our seats again, shall we?” 

Slowly, Lupin pockets his wand. 

Severus waits until Lupin has disarmed before sliding his wand back up his sleeve. “If that will be all, Headmaster, I have lesson plans to prepare.” 

“And Wolfsbane to brew,” says Albus. 

Severus’ expression is thunderous. “So it would seem,” he grits out.

Once he’s gone, Lupin spends a few minutes answering questions, before he, too, leaves via Floo. 

Minerva excuses herself moments later, and once in the hallway, she rolls her eyes. “Oh yes,” she murmurs. “Everything should be just fine this year. Merlin help us all.” 

~

“This is ridiculous. There simply has to be a curse on the Defence position.” 

Severus looks at Minerva. “Of course there is,” he says. “The Headmaster believes Tom Riddle cursed it when he was denied the position years ago.” 

Minerva blinks. “Wait, he’s known all this time, yet he keeps hiring new professors without getting the curse removed? Why?” 

“I’m not sure he knows how.” Severus clasps his hands in front of him. “In addition, now that we know he’s knocking about, I suspect Albus doesn’t want to alert Riddle that we’re aware of the curse.” 

“Well,” says Minerva as they approach the office, “at least Alastor should be vigilant about being attacked.” 

“Let’s hope he’s vigilant enough.” 

The interview is only a formality, they all know that. If Alastor Moody, Dark wizard catcher extraordinaire, can’t be relied upon to teach Defence against the Dark Arts, then no one can. The interview, such as it is, soon evolves into a discussion of the upcoming Triwizard Tournament. 

“Are we going to be responsible for educating the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students, too?” Minerva asks. 

“Yes.” Albus hums. “Only the head teachers are accompanying their student representatives to the tournament, therefore the students will need to be included in all our classes.” He turns to Alastor. “I hope that’s all right, Alastor.” 

Alastor shrugs. “Makes no difference to me,” he says, tone gruff. “No matter who you give me, I’ll whip them into shape.” 

“The more important question,” says Minerva, “is who will be chosen as the Hogwarts champion.” 

“My money’s on Fontwell or Diggory,” says Severus. 

Minerva raises an eyebrow. “A Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff? Goodness, Severus. Where’s your House pride?” 

Severus huffs. “The Slytherins who could hold their own in the tournament aren’t ready yet.” 

“No one’s voting for Potter?” asks Alastor.

“Alas, he’s too young to compete,” says Albus. “Although one does wonder if he’d do well.” 

“Fortunately, we won’t have to find out,” says Minerva. “He’s just a boy, after all.” 

“Indeed,” Severus says. “And while we’re talking about those who are, regrettably, unable to compete, someone should mention the Erumpent in the room.” 

Albus smiles, his twinkle back. “What’s that, my boy?” 

Severus smirks. “We need to find a way to prevent the Weasley twins from finding a way to compete.” 

Minerva coughs to hide a chuckle. 

Albus nods. “A valid concern. I’ll handle it.” 

“Someone should,” mutters Severus.

“Right. If that’s all, I need to wrap up some things in the Auror office before my job here begins,” says Alastor, standing up. “I’m tracking a slippery Dark wizard at the moment, bastard slipped out of Azkaban and seems to be wandering about in a remote town, Little Hangleton I believe, but I should have that handled in time to begin the term.” 

“Thank you, old friend.” Albus stands too, clasping Alastor’s hand. “I appreciate it.” 

Once he’s gone, Minerva smiles at both Severus and Albus. “At last,” she says. “A competent Defence teacher. Let’s try to hang on to this one.” 

“Quite.” Severus shakes his head. “I just wish I knew which eye to watch.” 

“That’s easy,” says Albus, beaming. “The magical one, my boy. Always the magical one.” 

~

“…should have known, what with my potion stores disappearing like that.” Severus shakes his head. “Barty Crouch Jr.? Salazar!” 

“Alas, he fooled us all,” says Albus. 

“That he did.” Minerva, having visited the real Alastor at St Mungo’s all summer, is amazed she didn't know the other was an imposter. “And now Voldemort is resurrected. What a disaster.” 

“I fear we’ve other more immediate problems.” 

Minerva and Severus both stare at Albus. “What is it now?” asks Minerva. 

“We’ve been assigned a Ministry representative to teach Defence this year,” Albus says. “And knowing Fudge, she’ll be keeping an eye on all of us as well. Her name is Dolores Umbridge and she’s…different.” 

“Different?” Minerva raises an eyebrow. 

Albus smiles, but it’s without warmth. “You’ll see. Be careful around her. I imagine she’ll be compiling a dossier on all of us.” 

“A spy.” Severus shakes his head. “This job gets better and better every year.” 

“My sources at the Ministry tell me she’s here to look for proof that I’m trying to undermine the Minister.” Albus sighs. “She’s…highly motivated, and I imagine if she doesn’t find the proof she needs, she’ll create it.” 

“She sounds charming,” says Severus. 

Minerva snorts. “She sounds like she needs a thorough telling off.” 

“No.” Albus narrows his eyes. “You are both to stay on her good side. If I am deposed as Headmaster, there will be no one here to protect the students, specifically Harry, who I have reason to believe is her target.” 

“As if I haven’t been doing that my entire career here,” grumbles Severus. 

“I’m serious,” Albus says. “Harry must be protected.” 

“We’ll do our best, Albus.” Minerva nudges Severus, who rolls his eyes, but finally nods. 

Albus smiles. “Excellent.” He stands. “Now, shall we go to the Great Hall? I believe our newest member of staff awaits.” 

“Minerva, do you still keep a bottle of Glenlivet in your office?” Severus murmurs as they follow Albus out the door. 

Minerva nods. “Of course.” 

He sighs. “Good. You may want to stock up.” 

~

Minerva stares at Albus when he tells her. “Are you sure this is wise, Headmaster?” 

“Thank you for the overwhelming vote of confidence,” says Severus, tone dry. 

Minerva rolls her eyes. “I’m simply worried about you, Severus. Voldemort almost killed Harry, the world is in an uproar, and now you’ve been appointed Defence professor! And the position is cursed. You can’t tell me you’re not concerned as well.” 

“I’m afraid he’s the only choice,” says Albus. “I need Horace back, and he can only teach Potions, so—”

“I’ll be fine, Minerva.” Severus is wearing his stoic face, but Minerva knows him. He’s worried. “It will only be for a year.” 

Minerva shakes her head. “It’s clear you’ve already made the decision. So why am I here?” 

Albus inclines his head. “Severus, would you excuse us for a moment?” 

Severus nods, and, after shooting an indecipherable look at Albus, moves away, out of earshot.

“I’m dying, Minerva.” Albus holds up his hand, which is shrivelled and dark. “It’s slow but inevitable.” His smile is sad. “I’ve decided to use it for the cause, however.” 

Minerva stands up. “Albus, no—”

“Nothing you say will change this.” Albus looks over at Severus, who’s at the window. “Severus has been helping me with his potions, but they have only slowed the process, nothing can reverse it.” 

Minerva clasps his good hand. “What do you need me to do?” she asks. 

Albus’ gaze pierces hers. “Trust Severus.” 

“Well I do, of course—”

Albus shakes his head. “I mean, trust him even when it seems as if you shouldn’t, even when it seems all is lost and he has betrayed everyone. Should that time come, you must trust him.” 

Minerva nods. “I shall. But what on Earth are you—?”

“I can’t say more.” Albus sighs. “I shouldn’t have said even this much. Severus wouldn’t thank me for it. But he will need someone on his side once I’m gone.” 

“I—” Minerva looks over at Severus. Over the years he has become more that just her colleague, he’s her friend. “I’ll be on his side,” she says. “No matter what.” 

“Thank you.” Albus’ twinkle is back. “Now, I should go and meet with Horace. I promised him Professor Merryweather’s old office.” 

And as Minerva watches him go to Severus, murmur something, and then leave, she sighs. 

~

“No.” 

Minerva stares at Severus. It’s difficult to look at him, even with the promise she made Albus. But she’s a woman of her word. “We do it every year, Sev—Headmaster. It’s a tradition. If you’re changing it, fine, otherwise, I’m helping you conduct interviews for the Defence position.” 

“There are to be no interviews.” Severus’ tone is cold. “The…assignment has already been made.” 

“I see.” Minerva raises an eyebrow. “Who is it to be, then?” 

“Amycus Carrow.” Severus smirks as she winces. “I see his reputation precedes him. In addition, he, along with his sister, Alecto, shall act as Deputy Headmasters. You shall be free to concentrate on your professor duties.” 

Minerva keeps her face still. “As you wish, Headmaster,” she says. 

“So, as you see, I do not require your assistance, Professor McGonagall.” Severus looked down at his parchment. “Dismissed.” 

Minerva doesn’t move. 

After a few moments, Severus looks back up at her. “Why are you still here?” 

“I’m here for you, Severus.” Minerva smiles as he blinks. “I made a promise to Albus, and I intend to keep it. I don’t like the person you’ve become, but I was warned this could happen, so I’m trusting in him and you.” 

Severus’ expression closes. “Foolish woman. I killed your precious Albus,” he spits. “What do you think of that?” 

“Honestly? I try not to think about it, Severus,” Minerva admits, never dropping her eyes from his. “And I think you try not to as well.” Leaning forward, she places her hands flat on his desk. “If you ever need a place to just be, my quarters are open to you.” 

“Get out,” he snaps. 

Inclining her head, Minerva straightens up. “Good day, Severus.” 

And as she walks to the door, feeling his eyes on her, she braces herself for a rough year. 

~

Minerva enters her office, and when she sees Albus and Severus waiting there, she smiles. “Hello, gentlemen.” 

Albus, eyes twinkling as always, smiles back. “Headmistress. Another year is ahead.” 

“Indeed it is.” Minerva glances over at Severus, who looks relaxed in his chair. “Are you feeling better, Severus?” 

“Quite.” Severus crosses his legs. “How go the castle repairs?” 

“They are proceeding.” Minerva hums. “Virtually all the students have returned to help, even the Slytherins.”   
 Severus raises an eyebrow. “You sound surprised. Slytherins are loyal, too, Minerva.” 

She smiles. “Yes, as I have discovered.” 

Severus flushes. “So, who are your candidates for the Defence position this year?” he asks. 

“There are several, actually, now that the curse has finally been broken.” Minerva walks around her desk, pulling some parchments out of a drawer. “I’m inclined to favour Fleur Delacour-Weasley, however.”

Severus makes an approving sound. “She has had superb training.” 

“A former Triwizard champion! An excellent choice,” agrees Albus. “Who else are you considering?” 

As she runs the other names past them, they agree Mrs Delacour-Weasley is probably the most qualified. “I’m pleased you concur,” says Minerva finally. “If you’re ready, I’ll invite her in now.” 

Severus nods and, picking up a sheaf of papers, he says, “I have my questions ready.” 

When Fleur walks in, she smiles politely at Minerva. “’Eadmistress,” she says. “Eet is a pleasure to see you again.” 

“The pleasure is mine, Mrs Delacour-Weasley. Have a seat. If it’s all right with you, all three of us will be conducting the interview today.” 

“Three?” Fleur looks around the room. “I only see you ’ere.” 

“My apologies,” says Minerva. She gestures to the portraits behind her. “I’m so accustomed to Albus and Severus that I forget not everyone else is. Is it all right if they ask questions, too?” 

“Mais bien sur, of course.” Fleur smiles. “I am ’appy to answer any questions.”

“Excellent.” Behind her, Minerva hears Severus shuffle papers in his portrait as he prepares to ask his questions, and she smiles. “Shall we begin?” 

~


End file.
